Dawn Wells (Maryanne) died of the Flying AIDS. Only Tina Louise remains.
Your love is like a splenectomy
The Flying AIDS is affecting us in other ways. The local Hallmark store has precious little inventory. They had to order less because of less traffic and they didn't want to get stuck with inventory they had to discount.
The supermarket is pretty empty too, because they are having trouble getting food trucked in, because of a driver shortage.
Collateral damage of the Flying AIDS, and this is only 2 local businesses. The bright spot is that there are jobs. As I said the other day, healthcare is buzzing, especially home healthcare. Truck drivers. Fast food, convenience stores... I drive by many HELP WANTED signs. Go for truck driver first - we're all out of ice cream.
A 3rd vaccine has been released. No, it's not as effective as the first 2, but it's called 'vaccine', and people will put any old shit into their arms. Except in an Ohio nursing home, where 60% of staff has refused it.
A 2nd patient has died after the vaccine, but doctors 'do not believe the deaths were connected to the vaccines.' Besides - they were in their 70s and 80s and were going to die anyway. It was just incredibly coincidental they died, that's all. Nothing to see here, people, go home.
Congressman-elect Luke Letkow, from Louisiana, died of 'heart complications' from the Flying AIDS. For the non-medical people out there, his heart 'stopped beating.'
Los Angeles is launching a digital iPhone receipt for Flying AIDS vaccinations, which could well become a passport. Nothing was mentioned about androids, but this is understandable in LA, where one must have an iDevice to get into the city. "It's so much snottier than that other one" - Gwyneth Paltrow "We wouldn't be seen without ours" - anybody named Kardashian. "I can't even turn it on" - Alec Baldwin
2/3 Americans don't care if digital devices are recording them. More than 2/3 Americans are idiots, but in this case, it's just 2/3. Children are growing up without the expectation of privacy and it's a bit unnerving. Teach your children well.
- Most played song of 2020? For many it's white noise.
- It's relaxing and tons better than anything else on the charts.
Alaska Airlines will be the first to ban emotional support animals. If this goes through, I will personally sue them. My support elephant, Iqbal, has gotten me through many rough times, especially on airplanes. In further species-ism, service dogs will still be allowed. Wait til I show them Iqbal's service paperwork. And his pilot's certificate.
In Manhattan, a man with a cane tried to rob a bank. He got away in his wheelchair. Police are looking for him.
Sorry, Captain, he got away.
What was he driving?
A whe.....[mumblle]
Sorry?
A wheelchair, Sir.
A wheelchair?
Yes Sir, a wheelchair.
Let me see if I understand this: a man with a cane tried to rob a bank and got away on a wheelchair. Is that correct?
Yes Sir.
Did he have a gun?
Just a cane, Sir
Knife?
Just a cane, Sir.
Was the cane sharpened to a dangerous point?
No Sir, just your regular cane with a rubber bottom.
Let me guess: everybody, including the security guards, was paralyzed with fear.
This is New York, Sir. Everybody ignored it and the guards held the door open for him because they were afraid of not being wheelchair accessible.
Was it a souped up wheelchair?
The video shows it was kind of broken down, Sir.
Did he have a getaway van right outside?
There was no vehicle - he just slowly wheeled himself off, Sir.
So you're telling me that a police force the size of an entire city cannot locate an old guy in a wheelchair. If we don't put a stop to this, mothers wheeling babies will start robbing banks. Paralyzed patients on gurneys. Kindergarten field trips. Old ladies after church. Trained cats. Do you see where I'm coming from? What am I going to tell the mayor?
We'll get him, Sir, I'm confident.
And from where comes this sudden confidence?
The old guy wasn't wearing a mask or social distancing. It's only a matter of time til some old lady beats the living daylights out of him.
I have confidence that the mayor will rest easier, knowing this information.
Today I identify as Wonder Woman. If you can't see my breasts, you're misgendering me.
I got my daily email from the USPS, telling me my package will be late, but it's definitely still 'in the mail' and on the way to the next facility. That's all they got.
- by April 2020, the adoption rates for dogs in the US increased by more than 30%.
Speaking of home healthcare, after my mother's aide tested positive for the Flying AIDS, it took her company a solid week to send a replacement. Obviously they had their best people on it. And speaking of best people, on her 2nd day, this aide was caught napping.
A year after Microsoft ended all support for Win 7, millions of users are still not upgrading
(Downgrading)
This is a tricky problem. These people will be the first with the torches and pitchforks when something bad happens. It's not like they weren't warned: Microsoft clearly communicated an End of Life date (look at me, defending Microsoft). On the other hand, who would want to upgrade to the monster that is Win 10? The advertising platform where you rent software. The spyware Swiss cheese operating system.
I'm honest... we all know I use linux, but I have to keep a spare virtual machine around, for times when companies won't let me use my chosen operating system. It's Win 7. I'm just not going to expose myself to Win 10. I very rarely have to use Windows, it's kept patched and safe as I can. Turbo Tax has no linux version and never will. Although it will run on Win 10, I won't. Keep in mind, Microsoft will not release any updates, unless there's a large emergency. There are also a bunch of people using Win XP(!). Hopefully they're not connecting it to the internet.
New Years Eve celebrations were a bit of a dud, thanks to Regulations.
Wanna see the ball drop? Not in-person. Plus the ball had to wear a mask. The hidden benefit was not having to be in New York.
Wanna have a party? Cities were sending huge police forces out to deal with parties (because there wasn't going to be any crime that night).
Wanna go to a bar? Hahahahahaha. Idiot Governor and/or Idiot Mayor said no indoor dining, plus masks and social distancing if you were 'dining' outside.
Wanna sit with your spouse, some champagne, and watch it on tv? Ok, but not the kids or pets. Your tv will tell on you.
The NYPD was deployed, with bomb-sniffing dogs and people-sniffing ferrets, to make sure no one could see the ball drop in person. The mayor said, "Look - I've killed your fun for the whole year - why stop now? And the first person with a 32oz soda gets the death penalty."
There is a lot of opposition to President Trump's $2,000 check plan. This time it's from England, which keeps referring to them as cheques.
The Nashville bombing suspect hunted lizard people in a local park, believing that these Draconians were shape-shifters and bent on taking over the world. He claimed Justin Bieber and the Obamas were lizards.
Think about it - this guy makes more sense than most of the candidates in the last election. He just needed to add the royal family. And everybody knows you don't hunt for them in the local park... you go online or turn on the tv. Trump is not part of the lizard faction - he's a little weird and the aliens wouldn't let him join, but this answers the question about Hillary's large pants suits (to hide her tail).
Every year I list some of the people who died. This is probably a sign of some mental illness, but here goes:
- Terry Jones - Monty Python
- Neil Peart - Rush
- Kirk Douglas
- Bill Withers - "Use Me"
- Little Richard
- Carl Reiner
- Charlie Daniels
- Peter Green - Fleetwood Mac co-founder
- Sir Sean Connery
- Conchata Ferrell - 2.5 Men
- Eddie Van Halen
- Alex Trebek
- Dawn Wells - Gilligan's Island
- Lyle Mays - Pat Metheny and solo
- Kenny Rogers
- Leslie West - "Mississippi Queen"
- Spencer Davis - "Gimme Some Lovin"
- I make this pledge to you: if I open YouTube and recognize anything on the front page, I'll start putting out rap records.
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