Captivity - Day 7

In true American spirit, the US has bested China in the number of Flying AIDS cases, with more than 82,000 reported. NOBODY surpasses the US.

• It's only a matter of time til people start taking selfies with the victims of the Flying AIDS.

After all the guessing on the origin of The Flying AIDS, I think I nailed it: reading  BBC news, they were talking about social distancing of 2 meters. Everybody knows it's 6 FEET. This is a conspiracy on the part of Europe to force America to use their silly system of Grahams, metres, theatres, flavours, and Louvres. Guys - it failed miserably last time - don't bother trying again. You know damn well that your cars drive in miles per hour, not litres per kilograham. Limeys.

• People are homeschooling - I think that's great. More people should. It keeps failing here because I can't get the dog to stop licking my face or social distance.

It's Friday - time to contemplate all the neat things you'll do with the entire family, trapped in your home, for an entire weekend. Makes you want to go back to work, doesn't it?

• Speaking of work, 2 tested positive. I was out of the blast radius. I hope they're well.

A creature of habit, I charge my phone in the morning, in case I need it later, when I go out.     Oh.

The Loud Family lived across the street. Every member of the family was loud. The dog was loud. Even the termites were loud. One day the Loud Family moved out, loudly.  Ah, the quiet we looked forward to... noise. The next family certainly looked quiet. The children were quiet! The wife was quiet. The husband, on the other hand, made enough noise for several construction companies and a demolition outfit or two. We finally figured out he was redoing the house. But the electric tools went on day and night, When he was done remodeling, it turns out he started on the next renovation. There were certain walls with 27 levels of plywood. Whenever we wanted to nap, there was a switch between our pillow and table saw. Now that the Flying AIDS has taken over, it's been eerily quiet. So quiet you could hear paper drop in the street. I needed a little more noise. Eager to please, the guy across the street, through with his mower, started up the table saw. I think he was cutting the top off a car to make it a convertible. We heard noise all night too, but it was muted. Turns out he had to run a circular saw in the bedroom or he couldn't sleep.

Pennsylvania GOVERNOR WOLF, another incompetent, big government politician - just issued a stay at home order. Throw him out, legally and immediately. It would be nice if he could do one positive thing during his 2 terms. Why do we keep electing and re-electing these people? Will I be arrested for walking the dog? The dog will send him a 'present.'  Guess I should wait a bit before I call his office to tell them how I feel about his order....