Sunday, March 22, 2020

Captivity - Day Two

TV is getting interesting. Rather, the commercials are getting interesting. I'll bet you never thought that would happen. Food delivery has expanded and become less expensive. A large hoagie chain offers buy one/get one. A large pizza chain has deals (although they shouldn't be allowed to call that stuff pizza). I feel sorry for the people and businesses who are hurt.

Financial institutions are offering emergency loans. Guitar companies are happy to ship anything you want, and get it on sale. Eastwood is having a sale on lefty guitars only.

Amazon is hiring another 100,000 employees to deal with the expanding volume of orders. Amazon employees are very unhappy because it's business as usual, with no precautions. Perhaps the additional 100,000 are replacements (sshhhhhh). Comcast offers basic service at a basic price for a while. If you're a customer, you're welcome to keep your service at the bargain rate of $265 per month, if you have tv, and $100 if you only have internet.

I can't find breakfast foods, like Raisin Bran. I may have to make some angry calls. If you want yogurt, you had better be mad for raspberry lime, because even starving people won't eat raspberry lime. Don't worry - it's available in great quantities. Until I locate Raisin Bran, I have no choice but to eat my weight in chocolate chip muffins. Fair is far.


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But seriously.
No.

Screw you, Governor, you haven't interrupted my routine. I even got up early for a Sunday, around 11.  And then again at 3. You know you're doing well when your first nap of the day doesn't occur for hours after you get up.

We were getting all sorts of bored, so a grocery trip was planned. It's pretty sad when you're excited about grocery shopping. All I saw was signs talking about social distancing. They recommend 6'. I had a tremendous idea: I'd dress like an antenna, with each of the radials being 6' long, in each direction. Wife would have been impressed, had she been listening. She says it's hearing loss, which is certainly a creative excuse. But 6' is a tremendous idea normally, although I prefer 50' in all directions. Someone told me my way of life has finally been vindicated.

I thought now would be a great time to own a t-shirt company. COVID Collector, COVID Donator, Back Off, Leave me alone - I might have it. You know, the typical antisocial stuff. I don't know why, but I'm often told my 'great ideas' are not appropriate for my age. I'll be making fart jokes as they plant me.

A huge imitation burger chain now offers hands-free drive through. A very popular electronics store with a yellow sign also offers hands-free driveup.

Off to the grocery store, I'm impressed with the amount of food and lack of shoppers. Announcements about social distancing play and there are signs stating that certain items are restricted. It looked good, it felt good, and it was good, right up til we hit the 2nd aisle. It weird to see full shelves with 10' gaps, where stuff used to be. Very little water and toilet paper was pure unobtainium. The bakery section was all there and fresh. Cereal was funny - chocolate covered chocolate bits were there aplenty. I wanted some decaf coffee for later in the day, lest the blog entries get even more frantic. Barely one box.

No bread, no peanut butter, and no soup, unless you like cream of cauliflower. Let's face it - these cans go back 25 years, to when the store opened. Even the rodents in the store won't eat cream of cauliflower. Literally no soup. No pasta, no sauce. Tons of salad dressing, but it would only be good on cream of cauliflower soup because romaine lettuce was ridiculously expensive. They weren't price gouging - apparently this is what lettuce costs. No iceberg lettuce. Most other fruits and veggies were well represented. No frozen pizzas (HORROR!) and only very expensive ice cream. Either they had lots or none.

We left and went in search of frozen hot chocolate at Dunkin Donuts. We heard that they were open, but takeout only. Annnnd they were closed. We hope it was just closed for the day. We'd miss our drinks, plus our friends there aren't in good shape to suffer closure. No one is.

Tomorrow I work, again from home. The traffic was murder on Friday. There was a backup due to dog toys on the steps. My coworkers are all concerned about working from home.... well, what I mean is their wives are all concerned about them working from home. Fighting Hours are from 7am to 11pm, plus they get agitated when their boyfriends can't come by during the day.


Still - throw the governor out.

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