So you're shut up (and shut down) in your home. If you're really lucky, someone else's home. You're bored, you aren't sleeping well, and you can see the individual specs of dust blowing around the air. Some of you can see things... on the walls...
Godammit - we need suggestions for Stuff to Do
Never fear, lefty's here (uh-oh)
- have sex
- watch others have sex
- have sex with yourself: it's ok when it's someone you love
- list, rate, and visit your top 50 pr0n sites. Do a review on each.
- are you starting to see a pattern?
- walk the dog
- if you're working from home, do not tell your boss you're having sex (unless he asks you to stream it and you get overtime)
- Find one of those horrid tv stations that play tv shows from before you were born and watch, open-mouthed.
- Find the Game Show Network and watch some games. From the 1970s.
- Walk the dog (if you can wake her)
- find and list 25 no-fail ways to annoy your spouse. 50 if you're feeling a bit punchy..
- complain about your spouse's constant demands for sex
- call relatives and friends you haven't spoken to since 3rd grade (like Faceyspaces with a phone!).
- Call some dead relatives and see if they answer
- ask why everybody says 'social distancing' all of the sudden - it's like the term appeared out of the blue last month.
- do something constructive: delete Windows and try linux
- put a sign in front of your neighbor's house that says "Free Toilet Paper"
- Explain to the kids what Outside is. Take them there (maintaining social distancing, of course).
- Watch the individual specs of dust form a chorus line and sing your favorites from Cats
- Experience marital bliss (unless she's home too)
- Educate your children with a map of the country, having them draw borders around the states that have closed their borders. Have them collect pictures of the dead from each state.
- Make stupid lists of things to do during captivity
- transcribe every commercial that says BUT WAIT!!!!
- Write down the name of every law firm and the maladies they will help you sue for - remember, the consultation is free.
- You know you've hit bottom when the kids say, "No, we're tired of Faceyspaces."
- Covid-19 will prove to be the most enlightening, educating, productive time in history. People will be so tired of being stuck with their own family, they'll learn science and cure coronavirus. And everything else.
Idiot Governor extends stay-at-home order for 33 counties in PA.
Idiot Philly Mayor only concerned about violating 2nd Amendment
Idiot Governor has president declare PA a disaster. PA was always a disaster.
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