Man, I was up early. It must've been 10:30.
It's difficult to tell by the sun because there isn't any.
There's some old dude down the street, putting animals into a boat.
We had breakfast, but at different times.
Several people called today.
We're doing puzzles later, if we have the strength and the meds wear off by then.
Didja ever notice it rains and rains and rains and you can't go out because you're quarantined? I hate that.
Several groups have been busted at corona parties.
It's kinda disturbing when the police show up for a party. They're already mad they weren't invited, then they tell you that this is an illegal gathering because you're 48 over the 2 person limit. I say let the partiers all get the Flying AIDS. It's our right as Americans. Our forefathers fought and died so we have the right to get any virus.
Several Important People<tm> at the White House are having the best time of their lives, messing with the president. They give him information about the Flying AIDS, which he reports in a press conference. A few hours later, they tell him the opposite, making him look stupid. The Sunday news shows, lead by Beat the Press, are having a more hilarious time than normal. Their segments include: What the president did wrong today, How Michelle Obama would have done it better, and Joe Biden saying how it should be done. Biden said "How what should be done? Got any oil filters?"
Those who are not Americans, which includes most of the rest of the world, specifically Britain, now have a a place to report people who they suspect have the Flying AIDS and have left their homes. HUH? That place has gone stark raving mad. Call 01-999-555-SNITCH. If somebody has said something you don't like on social media, press 2. If someone has said anything against a minority, press 3. If someone is carrying a carpet knife for work, press 4. If someone has said the F- Word, press 5. If you got your genitals stuck to a light pole again, press 6. If a minority has driven a van over the sidewalk, killing 12, we don't want to hear about it.
There are conflicting reports about quarantining New York.
I think it's a fine idea, but only if we get California too.
New York's mayor told synagogues to close down or be closed down permanently. If I understand correctly, the mayor, who is against quarantine, has just quarantined. Next week he will be shutting down law firms. That should be fun to watch.
I read something about the social distancing being incorrect: instead of 6', experts say it should be 24'. I realize I've been training for this all my life.
Scientists have reported there are 8 strains of the Flying AIDS.
Students of scientists have reported 16 strains. They claim the scientists are mad because they never get invited to virus parties and no one listens to them anyway. The California strain is a particularly weird virus, which makes you defecate in the street. The New York strain makes you frequently erupt with "Hey, yo, whatchoo mean by dat? I did your mudder." The Florida strain makes you eat dinner at 4pm and takes away your ability to see over the dashboard of your car. Lastly, the New Jersey strain frequently makes you wanna go downna shoor.
The Great Unwashed don't know it yet, but they're going to riot in one week. The Furry Show, where contestants wear furry outfits in front of judges, will be put on indefinite hold because of social distancing. This is worse than lack of food, nowhere to buy beer, and the continuing adventures of the Kardashians, so rioting will ensue. You might be wondering how the Kardashians can still be on tv, with all the social distancing.... they have their own air pumped in, free from viruses.
Remember to do good things for people. Keep calm.
Keep in touch with family and friends.
Skype your mother, and realize she has no idea what Skype is. She'll call you back and complain that people keep calling her and hanging up.
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