Hi, Kids - it's day 43 - that's 34 if you're dyslexic.
Sure is a nice day outside. Must be a nice day inside, but I'm not checking either, because I don't want to spoil things if I find out. It's probably snowing. Indoors.
We're at that weird part of the week, often referred to as Bobbi - with a star around the 'i'. Sometimes it's called weekend, but that's so passe. We previously discovered the only difference between week and weekend is how late you get up. So noon it was. All of that shit I was going to do on the weekend vanished, because I can't remember what I did with my Weekend List (wasn't that clever?). I added stuff to this list religiously, all week. I almost jumped out of bed, ready to tackle at least one project, like taking the bathroom trash downstairs or making sure there were no blue fibers in the vacuuming area. The blue fibers ruin the vacuum. I'm kidding - all fibers ruin the vacuum. It's never really easy to get out of bed, regardless of how much sleep I got, so that's why I have a Service Elephant. He never hurts anybody, but I always get a wide path to walk. His name is Iqbal, but nobody knows why (he told me this much).
As soon as I hit the couch on my first day of weekending, it's a countdown til my first nap. This can take anywhere from an hour to 7 hours, depending on external stimulation. Most things with me depend on external stimulation, so I nap a lot. It's a lot trickier for Mrs lefty, once referred to as having the mother of all sleep disorders. While I'm taking my first nap, she and the dog quietly get into bed. Since they're quiet, they left half the marching band downstairs. The entire house smells of brass cleaner. Making the extra effort not to disturb me, she talks to the dog smoothly and quietly. Responding accordingly, the dog leaps to my pillow and starts licking my face, until she has to be pried off. At least she was quiet. We have a bit of a baton race: I take the baton and go for a nap. When I'm done, I hand her the baton. Well, that's the theory. I explained baton to her, but what she heard was "Go to bed every 5 minutes or so until it sticks." Mind you, I've watched her sleep through 3 alarms.
Idiot Governor is facing the facts that other Idiot Governor are: people are pissed and nothing he says matters. The 2nd part of his plan goes into effect next week. This means businesses opening on their own have ignored his huffing and puffing. Anybody under 3 years of age would ask what's the difference between last week and this this week, and Idiot Governor would be stuck for an answer. People are unhappy and they miss their beer, alcohol, and having someone take their order in a restaurant. This won't change next week, because they'll mess up your order regardless of how it's taken. The invented these plexi hoods over the tables, so you only get to breathe your own air. After you pay your inaccurate check, the Sanobot comes along and puts your table in the shredder, making it useful for the next diners in a couple of years.
Godammit, I haven't had breakfast yet. Will someone get me the chocolate covered donut ice cream, please?
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