Captivity - Day 49 Nostril hair

I got a tip on the weather.
Shhh... don't tell anybody....
Since it's May, it May snow today.

What kinda extra-planeticular lunacy is this?

This is why they(?) call it Mother Nature.
You know damn well this is the kind of hysteria that doesn't often come with the penis crowd. They'd be sitting there, remote in hand, watching something masculine on tv, like maybe sports. They'd set the temperature to a reasonable spot for the year and go back to arguing about goals per average.

Mother Nature, on the other hand, is..... somewhat more complex.
Did the kids cleaned up their toys yesterday?  Minus 10 degrees
Did Father Nature spend most of last night begging for a little tsunami and fall asleep?  Snow in the Sahara.
Did Father Nature take his buddies out to the High Winds Review and come home late, stinking of chocolate milk and looking for a Blow Job? You betcha it's cold in hell right now....


To continue our science coverage, the Flying AIDS has been found in men's semen. If you ever meet the person who thinks this stuff up, don't shake hands.


Idiot Governor says Philly stays closed til June 4.
Critics bemoan the fact that Philly is never open, especially at City Hall

Why does Mrs Wolf always get on top?
Because Governor Wolf can only f- up.


So it never snowed. It's not that we never saw it snow, though. The doctors say not to look outside - it's too depressing.


There's some sort of magic show where they're dropping cars on people.
I think this would be a great addition to the political games. As soon as you screw up, we drop a car on you. Just think of the transparency!!

The next candidate is a very attractive British lady, in danger of getting spiked. We already know this is fake, because there are no very attractive British ladies on tv.



What 3 words mean your phone is about to be in trouble?
"Install our app"