Captivity - Day 59 Fishing for Birds

Insurance?  We got it.
Cheap life insurance? We got it.
We can place you with $200,000 of half term life for only $20.01 per month!
The cost won't go up - it's guaranteed for life.


Because of the Amazon Rainforest, Northern Edition, we need to get the deforestation people in. The ones with the explosives said they can't work because there's too much low cover, so that has to be moved first. What kind of deforestation people can't blow up dead branches? So yesterday Mrs lefty watched Penny the Wonder Cocker stack the branches up. I am not making this up. I wonder if we can rent her out to the deforestation people. Nah, she likes explosives too much...runs in the family...

This will not go well, I fear. Idiot Governor will come up with some reason that cleaning your yard isn't essential.  It *would* be essential if he lived next to us.


There is hope for the future, though...strip clubs are reopening: 'masks on, clothes off'. Oh, was she wearing a mask? I didn't notice.


A priest used a water gun to spray holy water on his parishioners.
No, Father, I said WATER!!


Astronauts may be able to make cement using their own pee.


Malaria parasites may have their own circadian rhythms (governed by pee).


New COVID-19 drug remdesivir is here (made from astronaut pee)


So while you're allegedly legally trapped in your (or somebody else's) house, and you're tired of having sex with their wife, somebody decides it's time to CLEAN!

Not just any clean - a top to bottom cleaning; freeing the rhinos and what's left of the Supreme Court; Let's just say Ginsburg ain't the oldest member. Let's lend an ear....

Is that....
Yes, paint.
Why?
You had to touch up the door.
That was 26 year..
Don't leave it out.

What's the box of gel cells?
You wanted the paint to sparkle..
Sparkle?
Sparkle.
The paint is neon brown.
Sparkly neon brown.
26 years?
26 years.

HEY - that's my 1970 Vette with the 454!!! It was under the dining room table.
Of course it was.
I didn't know.
All you had to do is ask.

I have loved that tv ever since you bought it. It's the last of the dumb tvs. Umm... what's the other one for?
Stereo.

What is Bicentennial? Who is Nixon? Bay City Rollers?
The Bay City Rollers were the Backdoor Boys before the Backdoor Boys were the Backdoor boys. They wore a lot of plaid, which is what killed them in the end. Same for Richard Nixon, the former president, except instead of singing, he used to talk to himself. He was convinced the commies and the Jews were after him. The sad part was the the commies and Jews were after him. Credit where it's due: he was the man in plaid. Nixon's vice president was Spiro Agnew, who died trying to pronounce his own name.

OMG - the remains of my previous service elephants. I wondered where they got off to. Isn't that a Saturn V rocket?
Don't you remember the month we had Werner von Braun here? He built that 200' launch pad out back?
There's a launch pad out back?
I think it's obscured by the tvs.
There are more tvs?
Surround sound.

I'm trying to identify the huge pile to the loft of the launch pad. Radios?
Yeah, that's all my tube radios I was going to fix. And a few other things I was going to fix - 475 vacuums, among others. They stopped making the belts so we were going to shoot them into space with the Saturn V. I don't know what we were thinking.
You weren't.

That pile of bones?
SHIT - that's the entire Playboy Bunny squad from the 80s, from my party. No wonder there was so much coke left....

174 fans?
Stereo.

That mixer is the biggest KitchenAid made.
Second.

Why are there huge green cylinders here?
Some sort of inert gas or Saturn 5 propellant or something - I dunno. I just smoke near it.

Errrr... the moving thing in the fridge?
Bob the service octopus. He retired.


Thus proving that cleaning is very bad for you.